Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Fall For You

Well why u gotta lead me on
Why did I fall for you
Ur smile shines like lights on broadway
Babe why r u makin me fall for you

Y'all told me we would never be
Then why are you hangin on me
Your the one who said it wasn't to be
Constants walk like country boys
Constant thoughts of you in my mind
Why O why can't I put you behind

Well why you gotta lead me on
Why did I fall for you
ur smile shines like lights On broadway
Babe why are you makin me fall for you

I don't know what lures me in
Oh wait yes I do
Your like an angel
Angelic that's youuuuuu
Takin me to heaven on earth
A place that only exsists with you

Well why you gotta lead me on
Why did I fall for you
Ur smile shines like lights on broadway
Babe why are u making me fall for you

You've helped me up
Even why I'm really down
So why are we so fucked up
We pass without a sound
It's like we never were at all
So why'd you make me fall for you

Would You

So what if i started to die
i tried and tried to be alive
i just couldnt seem to thrive
so what if i did some drugs
then id start to miss your hugs
just gettin high while i die

so what if i trashed my life
putting everything i had under the knife
what if i did some stupid shit
would you just go and quit
please dont quit on me
please try and save me

so what if i never do
i still cant seem to get you
ive tried and tried and tried
so what i just died
so what if i never win
then would all this be a sin
would it all be a sin

so what if i trashed my life
put everything i had under the knife
what if i did some stupid shit
would you just go and quit
please dont quit on me
please try and save me

so what if we end up together
would we be together forever
or would you quit on me
i just wish i could see
see you and me
you and me

please dont quit on me
just wait and see
please dont quit on me
please please save me

Like A Knife

so why does this happen to me
how the hell could this be
they said I'm fine
well how the hell do you know
im on my knees
praying to never wake up again
this game it started offf fun
but now its like im holding the gun

they do not know
whats going on inside my head
they do now know
why i wish that i am dead
or as im laying here in bed
i hope i never awake
life is just so surreal
my heart will never heal

my parents dont share
this pain thatll never go away
my life is despair
a sympathetic tragedy
its just so weird
i never feel safe
even though i know i am

they do not know
whats going on inside my head
they do now know
why i wish that i am dead
or as im laying here in bed
i hope i never awake
life is just so surreal
my heart will never heal

i do not know
what love truly is
its like a lie
it wont ever seem to die
i wish i could run from this pain
run away from this life
this place seems to be stabbing me like a knife.

Confessions - poem

Seconds after the fight broke out my body started to fall
It fell and fell like it was never anything at all
I pass you by at the school in the hall
All I want to do is put a gun to my head
Have my blood on the wall and be dead
Dead like nothing ever mattered to me anyways
The truth is you were my reason for living
And you don’t have the heart for forgiving.
No this isn’t how I really felt
But seriously you make my heart melt.

What I Think

I just wanted to tell you the truth
The thing you deserve to hear
What I’ve held so close and near
All these days I’ve kept this fear
Of a night when im all alone
Just staring at my clone
The mirror stares back at me
I’m all alone just me and my clone

I sit and stare
Ive gone missing but no one cares
Just sitting in a lone dark room
Just laying in a pool of my own gloom
Gone missing in my own doom
Sitting alone in a dark room

I think I’d be better of dead
Something small like shot in the head
Maybe if I died in my bed
So as I sit in front of the mirror
I have absolutely no cheer
It’d be better if I wasn’t here
As I stare at the mirror

I sit and stare
I’ve gone missing but no one cares
Just sitting in a lone dark room
Just laying in a pool of my own gloom
Gone missing in my own doom
Sitting alone in a dark room

And now I live
Just sit and breath
Never knowing where ill be
After this I just think ill be
A self destructive clone and me.

I sit and stare
I’ve gone missing but no one cares
Just sitting in a lone dark room
Just laying in a pool of my own gloom
Gone missing in my own doom
Sitting alone in a dark room

Light is a Contradiction To the Night

So your what the school has churned out
All you do is piss and pout
Ha, give em hell kid
This curse never seems to miss me
The curse of cursed relationships
I can never seem to get one I want
And when I do get what I want… its fake

I never seem to make it
This whole worlds just gonna pass me by
Please go on without me
don’t look back at me in sorrow
At least I know you’ll live to see tomorrow

All these things I wish I did
All that stuff when I was a kid
Like kiss a girl in the rain
Jump onto a moving train
It never happened for me
But maybe you could be lucky
A life that wasn’t meant for me


I never seem to make it
This whole worlds just gonna pass me by
Please go on without me
don’t look back at me in sorrow
At least I know you’ll live to see tomorrow

I didn’t know life was about living
I though just making it would suffice
But I guess not, I just guess I cant
Seem to make it through the night
I cant get back up and stay with the fight
Even if I try with all my might
I just don’t think ill make it through the night

I never seem to make it
This whole worlds just gonna pass me by
Please go on without me
don’t look back at me in sorrow
At least I know you’ll live to see tomorrow

So here I sit on the end of the ledge
I listen to our pledge in my head
“to make it to tomorrow no matter what”
I just don’t think I’ll make it to see the light

The Beast Within

You can not run
You can not hide
When this thing is coming for you
Its coming for you
So just lock yourself
In a cold damp room
And sulk around in your own dark room
Just trying to hide
From your impending doom

When you cant seem to hide
and cant seem to run
You realize this life isn’t fun
And that you just want to be done
Go find the gun

With this thing to my head
I’m almost dead
Laying here in my bed
With a gun to my head
Lock and load
Just here that click and a boom
Here comes your doom

This life is so short
We don’t have the time
We fall in line and just live our lives
Live out our lives
We just live out our lives
Then our demise

With so much doom at our end
And we live to try and mend
These relationships we make
And you know half are fake
You filthy snake
So here’s the end of my time
And no all I do is live
Live out my life
Slashing me with this knife

The Battle

Once upon a time
There was a girl who continued to whine
All she wanted was love in this world
Well that’s just a lie isn’t it

Love doesn’t exist here on earth
Not with mothers or lovers
Not with high school sweethearts
Only with people with broken hearts

For these fallen soldiers
In the game of love
Trying to push and shove
Their way through life
Only to end their life under the knife

Love doesn’t exist here on earth
Not with fathers and sons
Or lions and their young
Not with engaged couples
Only the people with broken hearts

Just when you think it isn’t enough
They come on up and crush your thoughts
Of a life that was happy and not so crappy
If we laugh and live it just seems like it isn’t real
It isn’t real

Love doesn’t exist here on earth
No one cares for us or anything
No one will miss us unless we were great
No one will miss us its only fate
So well your alive just strive for the great
And try so hard to change your fate
To change your fate

*****'s Song

You cant hate me forever and ever
Maybe you can but I couldn’t give a dam
This whole thing just isn’t fair
You make your demands over and over
These things cant ever bring us closer
You just don’t seem to get it

You never give me a chance
You bitch and whine until you win
Here I stand as I pull this pin
To this grenade of life. Here it comes
Tick tick tick

You always make me feel like shit
Make me feel like I have to quit
Its just you don’t want to admit
That you have failled at controlling me
These things I never did but you said I did
These things you never thought I’d be
Well I am

You never give me a chance
You bitch and whine until you win
Here I stand as I pull this pin
To this grenade of life. Here it comes
Tick tick tick tick

You have never let me rest
Its always what you do is best
Even when your wrong
Its just you you you
There is no me
Its only you and never me

You never give me a chance
You bitch and whine until you win
Here I stand as I pull this pin
To this grenade of life. Here it comes
Tick tick tick tick tick

Its only what I think is right for us
But what I think is crap huh
I wouldn’t be right if you were wrong
I’ll only be right when I am dead
So I guess its all this I see
isn’t what it was ment to be
We could have been happy
But all of this is really crappy.

You never give me a chance
You bitch and whine until you win
Here I stand as I pull this pin
To this grenade of life. Here it comes
Tick tick tick tick tick tick boom.

Hatred towards myself

Now i feel like im on the edge
once again no where to look but my friends
they tell me im fine i havent got a problem
i disagree you dont know whats wrong with me
im to much of a coward to c*t myself
i cant take it all. i have this rage bottled inside
so here i sit writing my little self hate song

i cant help but fel down
i think no one else is around
to help me out of my hole
i try to keep my cool, to be happy
but sometimes this doesnt work

my parents tell me im wrong
those bastards wont even let me speak my mind
making me feel like im constantly behind
i think im going out of my fucking mind
so here i hide in a half lit room
writing myself a little self hate song

i cant help but feel down
like thinkin no one else is around
to help me out of my hole
i try to keep my cool, to be happy
but sometime that just doesnt work.

you cant seem to understand
why i cant care at all
kinda like im nothing at all
sitting alone in my now dark room
hating my guts and writting my self hate song.

depression

Why am I so depressed
When I always knew it would come down to this
You broke me down
Hung me out to dry, and I wonder why
You burned me inside

So here I hide in my depression
I got lost in my obsession
Searching with nothing to find
You watched me die

It’s like you stabbed me in the core
All you were was one big chore
Feeding off my own regret
Killin me was one safe bet

So here I hide in my depression
I got lost in my obsession
Searching with nothing to find
You watched me die
With no care at all

Now I sit in my dark room
Reflecting on all my gloom
Wondering if it was meant to be
This is killing me
Why can’t you stop and see

So here I hide in my depression
I got lost in my obsession
Searching with nothing to find
You watched me die
As you said goodbye

I was told I could do better
But that was after I met you
What now is obvious was so hard to see
You never cared about me

Honesty

I guess I never really told you

How much I wish I was with you

How much I seem to love you

So why haunt my past

I can't let your memoirs rest


I guess this puts it all together

Just like the storms we've weathered

I told you I'd be here forever

And that I wouldn't forget you

This much I have kept true


Just under three weeks gone

Time has seemed so long

I thought of you everyday

Wished you were here some way

So I wish Id told you how I felt

Thought I would as the snows melt


So my darling i say these words

Why cant we fly away like the birds

Far away from all their evil spies

And far away from their judgmental eyes

So out of all my words these are true

The only thing i love is you

DISTRESS FROM STRESS

All this stress surrounds me like ghost of my past

All this running I do just can’t seem to last

No mater how far I go I wind up here

Looking back and noticing i’m still so near


I just can’t run away from this

No matter how much of my life I miss

It’ll catch me and then I’ll see

What my life was truly meant to be


So I struggle to take these terms

Even with what I have yet to learn

My life was planed out for me

So why is it that all I want to do is break free


I just can’t run away from this

No matter how much of my life I miss

It’ll catch me and then I’ll see

What my life was truly meant to be


It’ll slow me down take me to a stop

It’s to the point where my brains gonna drop

The stress it seems to go like the wind

Changin like the times and minds of my friends


I just can’t run away from this

No matter how much of my life I miss

It’ll catch me and then I’ll see

How my life was truly meant to be.


Welcome

Heres the deal about this blog thing. i have never blogged before so this is going to be new for me.

Heres what i'm going to do i write song lyrics and poetry like its my job well it isn't but that would be nice so im going to write all my songs and poems on here now so all the world can see my life and take it in their own eyes

so i hope you enjoy..... welcome to my life